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Prologue
The Return of Ganondorf takes place seven years after the Ocarina of Time ends. According to Zelda lore, at the defeat of Ganondorf in OoT creates two parallel universes, one where Ganondorf is defeated and banished, and another where Link never takes the Master Sword and Ganondorf never comes to power. This book takes place in the latter of the two, seven years after Link returns to his childhood. No one knows what happened to Ganondorf except Link and Navi. Link now works doing freelance jobs, anything from bodyguard work to being an escort. He is welcome at Hyrule Castle anytime.
Six shadowy figures slowly pushed their way through the harsh sandstorm that was ravaging the already barren landscape that is the Haunted Wasteland. Their guide walked ahead of them, he seemed impervious to the howling wind and stinging sand. He wore nothing but a simple red tunic, with nothing covering his face. He was bleeding heavily, but walked without strain.
“Guide, are we almost to the excavation site?” complained one of the men, a hired guard in light armor. “I’m sick of walking.” The guided turned and looked at the man sharply, then continued to walk. The complaining man rushed up to him, ready to punish him for his insolence. The guide caught the man’s fist before the punch could be thrown. With a quick spin and a twist the man was on his knees, screaming in agony. After being begged for mercy, a soft smile came over the guide’s face and he loosened his grip. The man broke free and staggered back to the group, cradling his nearly broken wrist. The rest of the group just stared in awe at the now much more dangerous looking man.
“Let’s go, we’re almost there.” The guide said.
“Where are they? They should be here by now.” The girl looked back and forth, scanning the horizon. Her aide put her hand on the girl’s shoulder. “Calm down princess, if you attract too much attention to yourself people may suspect the real reason you’re here.”
“I know. I thank you for telling father I need to see more of Hyrule, and for arranging for us to oversee this excavation.” She paused to scan the horizon once more then continued. “Impa, do you think Link will be happy to see me?”
“Of course he will.” Impa replied. “In fact I think he already knows you’re here.” Impa pointed to a sand dune. There was the party of hired guards, slowly staggering towards them. Link was leading them. He was staring straight at them, astonished that they were there. He turned and said something to the men and they instantly stood up straight, trying to walk without limping. The princess giggled.
Link led his party to the small dig site, when they reached the princess, they all dropped to one knee. “You may rise.” The young woman said. “You look as though you had a rough journey. Please go sit and relax.”
The men ran to the shade of a nearby rock, and within moments they were talking and laughing. When link lifted his face to meet the princess’ she gasped, seeing the cuts on his face. “Link you’re bleeding!” she exclaimed. “Come with me and we’ll clean your cuts.” She took his hand and led him to a nearby tent.
“Okay, now be still. This may sting a little.” Zelda opened a chest and took out some cloth and a bottle labeled “Biri Jelly.” She put some on the cloth and returned to Link. As soon as the damp cloth touched his skin, Link fell to the floor, writhing in agony. Darkness swallowed him as he blacked out. Link awoke several minutes later, Zelda standing over him with a shocked look on her face. Her eyes brimmed with tears. “Oh Link, I’m sorry.” She exclaimed. “I didn’t know you had never been treated with Biri Jelly before.” She then let out a partially stifled giggle. “It always hurts like that the first time, doctors usually wait until a serious injury to use it. But you can’t argue with results.” Zelda said as she reached into the chest and pulled out a mirror. She showed Link his face, all the cuts were gone without a trace. She kissed him on the forehead and smiled. “There see, all better now.”
“Thanks Zelda.” Link smiled, then winced as a final surge of pain shot through him. He got up and peered out of the tent. Knowing this may be one of the few times he can be alone with her here, he took her hands and pulled her into him, gently pressing his lips against hers. This didn’t surprise her in the least. They had known each other for seven years and both wanted nothing more then to be with each other. After a moment they separated. Their eyes met for a moment, and Zelda laughed.
Link smiled and pulled her back to him, holding her close. “Zelda, we may not get another chance to do this, do you want to get out of here for awhile?” He asked her, whispering in her ear. “I would like nothing better.” She whispered back. She pulled away and thought for a moment, “But where could we go? This camp is the only place that is safe from the heat.”
Link moved to the back of the tent and drew his sword. He pierced the fabric and slid his sword down, easily tearing the thin fabric. “I know a place that isn’t too far from here, it never gets hot, and the view from there is amazing.” He motioned for her to follow as he crawled out of the tent. She quickly followed. As she emerged from the tent she rose, brushing sand off of her dress. Link peered around the corner then motioned for her to do the same. There were two of the guards standing near a rock, casually talking. Impa was standing guard outside the medical tent, completely unaware that Zelda was no longer in side. On the far end of the camp, one of the archeologists was flipping through a book, completely engrossed in it. Link reached down and grabbed a small stone. He whispered to Zelda, “I’ll cause a distraction. As soon as no one is looking, run over the dune behind us. I’ll be right behind you.”
Link threw the stone as hard as he could. It sailed through the air, and hit the archeologist square in the face. He fell backwards, cursing. He looked around and saw the two guards laughing at him. He got up, and ran over to them, accusing them of throwing the stone. They broke into a heated argument, and Impa strode over to break up the fight. Link turned to her and whispered, “Go!”
Zelda ran over the dune with Link at her heels. After they were out of sight they slowed to a brisk walk, taking the time to catch up with each other.
That's it so far, but as a little extra, here's a script for a YouTube video I'm making.
Script: Pocket Spin the Bottle
Characters:
Announcer (Voiceover)
Disclaimer
Person 1
Person 2
Person 3
Person 4
Announcer: From the makers of Spin The Bottle and Seven Minutes in Heaven comes the newest game of Tweenage experimentation! It’s Pocket Spin The Bottle! Pocket Spin the Bottle introduces a new, smaller bottle that can easily be carried in a pocket. No more hauling around those bigger, clunky bottles.
Person 1: Hey check it out! I got Pocket Spin the Bottle!
Person 2: Wow! It’s so tiny!
Person 3: Awesome!
Person 4: Lets play!
Announcer: Now you can play anywhere! In the car, in the lunchroom, in a public bathroom! Setting it up is easy! Just take the bottle out of your pocket or the exclusive Pocket Spin the Bottle: Bottle Protector.
Disclaimer: Pocket Spin the Bottle: Bottle Protector not included.
Announcer: Place it on any level surface, you can use a table, a notebook, even the palm of your hand! Then all you have to do is spin it and let curiosity and hormones take their course.
Person 4: It’s so easy! And thanks to Pocket Spin the Bottle, So am I!
Person 1,2,3,4: Yeah!
Announcer: It’s the Pocket Spin the Bottle. And from the makers of Pocket Spin the Bottle, be on the look out for Pocket Seven Minutes in Heaven.
1 comment:
I was a victim of the spin the bottle in your pocket game. When I went to jail...the big white buff guy had...well...he got one in and I was forced to play.
They always cheated and made it point to me...
Too bad they all "commited suicide" by hanging themselves in their cells with their socks the very next day.
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